Monday, 9 November 2015

Bottle of Halloween Disappointment

Halloween, crazy “celebration” time of the year.  I don’t care for it myself but it is fun with some of the crazy crap that comes out.  This year while out and about travelling I picked up an interesting looking item, a humble little bottle of Pepsi.

The reason this was interesting?  Well, how can one refuse such an enticing name, such as

Pepsi Ghost.

It gets better, at the bottom of the bottle, it states rather proudly:

Mystery Flavour
MysteryPepsi
And it has a picture of a pumpkin ghost thing eating stuff like dough nuts and something orange.

“Wow,” I says to myself while looking at this.  “ This could be fun or gross, but I suspect both!”

And thus, I bought the drink.

It sat in my fridge while I forgot about it, but today, I finally got around to opening the sucker up.
I had a sniff.  Man, it was sweet.
And gross. (yay, this is what I wanted)
But familiar….  Hrm, I was sceptical…. 

As a result, I passed it around to those around and asked them to see if they could work out what it smelt like, no-one was terribly sure.

Hesitantly I took a small sip….

Then I swore.

Disappointment swam throughout me as it flowed from the bottle into my mouth. 

On the positive side of things, it was as I expected, quite disgusting.

On the negative side of things, and this was what I was most saddened about, was it was just shitty normal cherry cola flavour.

Bloody hell Pepsi!  What the hell are you doing?  This isn’t a mystery flavour!  It’s just a shit flavour that has been around with various colas for ages.  Pepsi could’ve chosen anything, Pumpkin flavoured Pepsi.  I hate pumpkin, that would’ve been disgusting, but also interesting because I’ve never had Pumpkin cola before.  Strawberry, so sweet I’d be diabetic after one bottle.  Sweet potato, also disgusting, and possibly popular with Japanese tastes.  Hell, I’d even be happy with Natto flavoured Pepsi.

But cherry?  GAWDAMIT! You go with the lazy arse disgusting choice of shitty bloody cherry.

Where’s my dough nut flavour?  Cheesecake?  Banana?

Cherry.  Sigh, might as well have given me a bottle of Dr. Pepper instead.

I can see the board meeting right now.
“So, what do we do with this cherry coke syrup we bought from Coke in the 80s?  We still can’t get rid fo this shit!”
“Let’s market it in a bottle for Halloween, call it ‘Mystery Flavour’ and chuck some pictures of Doughnuts and shit on the label, then people will buy it thinking it’s something nice and fun instead of piss boring cherry coke”
“Mwa ha ha ha ha! Mwa ha ha ha ha <cue Doctor Evil like laughing scene in the boardroom>”

Arseholes.

If they bother doing this again, I can guarantee that I won’t be buying again. 

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