A Text Review of Mario Kart 64

Being… hmm, old-ish I guess, I thought the general opinion of Mario Kart 64 was pretty positive. Most often when the subject came up, it usually turns/devolves into a discussion about whether MK64 or Diddy Kong Racing was the better of the kart games on N64 (forgetting Mickey’s Speedway USA altogether - the curse of late releases strikes again!). Perhaps i’ll review DKR at some point too, because that is an interesting comparison. But nowadays, i’m seeing more and more opinions that shove MK64 at or near the bottom of best Mario Kart rankings. It’s arguable if that even means it’s a bad game, considering something has to be at the bottom, doesn’t it? But a lot of those opinions are rife with misunderstanding of the game, just like the original SMK. Perhaps it finally got old enough to be assessed by another generation of players. So once again I’m struck with a need to delve into it and deliver the correct verdict as only my opinionated ass can!

Given that Super Mario Kart was STILL in rotation amongst my friends right up until this game came out (and actually - after as well), you can bet we were all excited to get our hands on it. Personally, I remember thinking the first tiny screenshots from Shoshinkai ’95 looked amazing. Around this time arcade racing games like Daytona and Sega Rally had shown how incredible racing games could look in 3D, and when I saw the grass textures on the early Mario Raceway… i was convinced it was their equal. That didn’t turn out quite as true as I hoped… until maybe another generation later?

At the time, my main gaming magazine was still CVG. The same mag that had introduced me to Super Mario Kart with their 96% rating. It was clear from early previews, that like me and my friends, they had continued to play Super Mario Kart constantly over the intervening 4-5 years. They were so fond of the old game that expectations for Mario Kart 64 were absolutely sky high. And so after a few previews of the import version they finally delivered their review. Percentages were out and 5 star rankings were in, and Mario Kart 64 got … 4 Stars. 80% for the mathematically challenged. That’s… kinda shit, I remember thinking. But looking back at that review now, the months they played between region releases might not have been enough to really grasp the game’s brilliance.

archive.org has CVG Issue 188 with the full review. Issue 184 and 185 have previews

But at the time, it put a real dampener on my excitement. If you remember those early N64 days though, well, you weren’t gonna skip a major release! Droughts were bad enough as it was. And so Mario Kart 64 was purchased as god intended and my opinion began to form. Or did it? I can’t really remember whether it was my opinion or just a mirroring of what the CVG felt writers at first - I was pretty disappointed. It was definitely NOT Super Mario Kart, that much is sure! Indeed, this is the first of many times in not just this series, were a desire for “more of the same”, has led to a period of confusion and hate, if you don’t give the changes a fair whack.

The main difference with the original is simply the move to analog controls. Gone were the days of on-and-off, immediate response. It’s not entirely true, I mean, the stick responds just fine but what I mean is, far left or right is now, ooooh, 80 or so increments across? It’s impossible not to just “feel” different.

Nintendo back then was all about looking at the analog stick and seeing what kind of new gameplay it could deliver. In Mario Kart 64, this materialised in the form of the updated mini-turbo mechanic. Now when you slide - and you seriously slide in this game; the camera tilts and your racer leans more like they’re in a superbike than a kart - you can wiggle left and right to alter your line and charge up the mini turbo.

I don’t really remember how long it took me to get the hang of it. Playing it now, it still takes a little getting used to again, after so many years of the smoothed-over sliding in later versions. I think that’s probably where new people trying out the game for the first time nowadays will falter and develop a bad impression of the game. Back then when our game purchases cost months of childhood savings, we had no choice but to get used to and get good at it, to get our moneys worth.

Eventually, it definitely clicked and many a time trial was ran, but I wouldn’t say the controls are perfect. I think the main problem is felt when you’re hard skidding one way, and want to quickly change to the other. As the kart jumps to the opposite direction, you need to still be holding the new direction when you land, for the new skid to initiate. The problem is the animation from goes through many frames to get there and so these alternating skids often fail too easily and end with a basic turn despite you holding the skid button. At worst, you can fail your next mini-turbo and end up turning in the wrong direction, since you’re trying to correct your skid that hasn’t comment out. This immediate opposite skid issue isn’t really a thing in later games where your skid starts in the direction you’re pressing more immediately.

Still, the mini-turbo mechanic means you have to be on your game all the time. There’s no sleeping through corners just holding R here. Can you squeeze one more in on that wide corner? How about 4 of them?

The other main difference with SMK is of course the courses are now 3D. With it, the first instance of “wider courses are bad!”. Honestly, I don’t remember thinking that myself yet. I think it’s in part due the mechanical complexity of the mini-turbos, that even the most sedate of bends becomes challenging to perfect and requires your full attention.

More open 3D courses also afforded some more brutal item usage. Saving that lightning and screen-sniping your friend as they go over a big jump never felt so good/bad to be on the receiving end of - the punishment was far more severe than the old game. This time you’d have to repeat half of Wario Stadium if you missed that jump! It sometimes took forever to finish that course with everyone doing it to each other.

There were more shells thanks to the addition of triple-variants, and there were generally less walls for them to get destroyed on now. It was harder to avoid them - but perhaps easier to dodge stationary items like bananas. One change they made that I think is removed from all later games, was the ability to save yourself from spinning out after hitting a banana or turning too erratically (press B repeatedly). I really miss that feature because it meant you weren’t screwed the instant you hit one, but there were also times where the angle you hit it meant you didn’t get the chance, so it wasn’t all-powerful.

Another one is the triple-tap A ability to get a boost when getting placed back on the road after a Lakitu drop. That feature comes and goes from later Mario Karts I think, but I wish it would stay. It was great here because you’d be hammering that button like no tomorrow to get going again! Especially if you got hit with an item right at the finish line, you could sometimes still boost across the line and hold your position from that asshole behind you. Even if not, it would make for some awesome pipped at the post finishes!

Now, there’s only 16 courses in MK64, 4 less than the original game. BLASPHEMY!
Truth be told, I don’t remember ever being upset about that. I mean, the courses here are far bigger and would have been more involved to create, so it seemed an impressive number at the time. Plus, most of the course themes are unique, with only the Luigi/Mario/Peach themes being similar, standard racetrack type courses. In Super Mario Kart there’s only 8 themes. But, course themes does not equal course design, so lets go through them one by one! Please reference Mario Wiki's page once again for pics.

Luigi Raceway
I think as a first impression this course probably doesn’t make a good one. It starts with a long boring straight into a big sweeping, banked (hey that’s something new!) curve. We skip to the right through a tunnel and onto another sweeping curve to the end. It’s the first course so it should be simple, right? Basic as it is, those sweeping corners will eventually become your practice grounds for chaining mini-turbos.

Moo Moo Farm
Things are a bit more interesting here, even if the layout is a fairly basic circular shape. We’ve got the introduction of varied elevation changes - lots of hills. Although the course is wide, you’ll want to take the inside line, but it’s only for gamblers with a heap of monty moles ready to send you flying into the airin a moment’s notice.

Koopa Troopa Beach
Again the layout is a basic circular shape, but now the inside line is cliffsides. You can run close but you don’t want to run up the sides and completely throw off your line. Afterward there’s a series of jumps and an obvious, huge shortcut if you can make it into the gap in the cliffs safely. If not, continuing around the course normally leads to a huge skinny ramp that tends to be more trouble than it’s worth (truth be told, I can’t remember what the item box it leads to contains!) The end of the lap has proper receding water, if you’re game you can run across, but watch out for the crabs!

Kalimari Desert
Perhaps one of the most memorable courses owing to the train running through the middle of it. Fast or slow, you might approach it at an inopportune time and have to dodge or worse, come to a complete stop, to avoid it. There’s a tricky shortcut if you follow the train into the tunnel and then speed out the other way to trigger a second lap, but it’s more of a glitch than intended. The rest of the regular course is just a few wide turns that are ripe for golden mushroom cuts.

Toad’s Turnpike
A long figure 8 course made somewhat interesting with the series first inclusion of traffic. This one’s a battle of attrition as you avoid cars and trucks while trying to get as many skids off as you can on the long corners. At least the vehicles are going the same direction as you, unless you’re racing in mirror mode!

Frappe Snowland
A snowy but not so slippery ice course, this is the first course with lots of really tight bends. You also have to contend with a minefield of snowmen halfway through the lap. There’s lots of places to cut corners over snow piles, but you have to be careful not to trigger lakitu, since the boundaries aren’t very clear.

Choco Mountain
Tight corners continue here, but now most of them are flanked by mountains. It’s bad news if you run up these walls as you’ll invariably fall back down to a standstill. Also risky is going over the jumps at the wrong angle. Towards the end of the lap is a sweeping left turn with no edge on the faster inside route. Are you game? It’s made even more challenging by falling boulders. A quick couple of turns followed by 3 huge jumps that can make or break your race, finish the course.

Mario Raceway
The most reminiscent of a SNES style course despite some elevation changes. Even tighter cornering is the order of the day here, and your mini-turbo skills will be put to the test sticking to the inside line. Halfway through you can skip a bunch of grass with the right items, or maybe save them for the hill on the right of the last corner, to get that sneaky last minute victory. Insane madmen can attempt a mid-circuit shortcut by driving up the hill and boost jumping towards the brick wall, hoping to trigger a glitchy shortcut to the other side of the course. I definitely didn’t break a controller trying to do this 3 laps in a row when I was younger.

Wario Stadium
A massive Excitebike style courses filled with bumps and ramps. Trying to get a good landing is a bit hit and miss but can really improve your times. A few corners from the end is a massive jump, or should I say, death pit. You’ll be afraid to even approach it if your mate is lagging behind and stocking a lightning!

Sherbet Land
Now we have the slippery ice. Worse is the frozen lake through most of the center. Thrill seekers can cut corners over the sharp cutaways, but if you fall in you get placed back on the course frozen and lose a heap of time! Penguins slide back and forth on the ice, and guard inside lines in the cave too.

Royal Raceway
The longest of the racetrack type courses, this one is a bit more relaxed than Mario Raceway. Halfway through is a series of speed pads leading to an enormous jump over the river. Lunatics will swing left off the jump hoping to catch a landing on the bank and get placed back on course further ahead for an entirely unintended by the developers shortcut. Normal racers just navigate the twisty section or boost across the grass to snatch the win.

Bowser’s Castle
Lava doesn’t make much of a threatening return here, but the Thwomps have definitely gotten more aggressive! They now move back and forth before slamming, and in one place, can completely block your path if you’re unlucky. Further on, there is the risk of a lava bath navigating a small bridge though. This spot is prime for dropping a banana to block the path. If you make it through that, drop down some stairs before a few more turns and a thankfully wider bridge, followed by a long tight left turn up a tower, before dropping onto the final section leading to the finish line.

D.K.’s Jungle Parkway
Race around a sweeping right corner, braving the river on the left, up to a ramp that jumps over the river you just passed by. Swinging left on this ramp is definitely an intentional shortcut, but cut it too close and you’ll be in the drink. Some tight corners and a hairpin lead to a bridge across the ravine. Thankfully this bridge has sides! Head into the cave and if you’ve got an item, try your luck boosting up the side of the wall up to the finish line. It can snatch or rob a victory!

Yoshi Valley
This is a good course to highlight that not everything was made wider in this game! There’s several routes through this maze-like course and one in particular is only a few karts thin. Of course, it’s the fastest route as well. And make no mistake, this course is not friendly - plenty of turns are barrierless and the fall is a long way down! Make it through half the course to a big corner that invites you to risk a jump at the point where the track pinches together. What it doesn’t tell you is there’s no barrier to save you if on the other side if you overshoot. Towards the end of the lap there’s an inexplicably large Yoshi egg wobbling about, guarding the entrance to a tiny bridge onto the climb up to the finish line.

Banshee Boardwalk
The ghost house stage at first glance doesn’t seem so evil - barriers are up in lots of places throughout the course. But, they’re also nonexistent at all the places you’d want them to be, like the chicane leading into the building. Once inside, try and dodge a swarm of bats while navigating the halls. Taking these turns too close can leave you facing the wrong direction altogether, with no choice but to reverse or spin-turn to get back on course. The final corner is a long one but a banana near that edge can end your chances real quick.

Rainbow Road
In what can only be described as the most perplexing change from the SNES version, Rainbow Road is now a full-barrier course that is the longest in the game (by a hefty margin too). Right at the start of the lap is a big jump down the straight that houses another of the game’s crazy shortcuts - hopping over the barrier is possible and with the right angle, you can cut out a huge chunk of the boredom. I mean the track. Apart from chaining mini-turbos on its many winding roads, you’re mainly going to be avoiding items from other karts rather than track hazards. That said, there is a massive chain chomp wandering about the place.

Mario Kart 64 became a mainstay of sleepovers thanks to its 4 player ability. My group of friends spent the most time playing 4 player VS Races. The system couldn’t handle CPU in 4p VS, so it was just the 4 of us, but is that really a bad thing? There was no getting screwed over by rubberbanding - probably why that’s not really one of my complaints about the game. It still struck a good balance of skill vs items I believe, even against the CPU with 2 players. Mostly, you could absolutely smoke them once you got good, and it was more humourous than anything, when one of the CPU just decided to take off into the lead never to be seen again.

Battle mode was a different story. I see a lot of people say that this version has the best battle mode, but even with 4 players, it just wasn’t a patch on the SNES version, sorry! You people really have a habit of being wrong! What’s wrong with it? Well, the courses aren’t as good, straight up.

Big Donut
A circular course with lava in the middle, 4 blocks with almost nowhere to hide, so it’s not fun at all.

Block Fort
This one has the promise of being as good as the SNES Battle Course 4. It’s the one everyone also highlights as the best one right? But it has huge structures everywhere, so most of the time, you’re using the minimap to see where someone is, and driving around with noone in view. Thin paths to the top of these structures discourage sliding, and are almost guaranteed to screw you over if your wheel even clips the edge. This course highlights some of the glitchy kart with background interactions more than any of the others; you often end up going too slow so you can navigate the area, or falling off and turning into a sitting duck with no speed.

Double Deck
A two level arena which is interesting since you can make some sniping attacks from the upper level. But it’s still pretty wide open and so it’s hard to avoid attacks.

Skyscraper
This one isn’t bad, the gaps in the outer ring can be used for some quick escapes reminiscent of the SNES game, but with no edges all over, you’ll often cause your own death instead.

Technically the game has a lot of faults - i touched upon glitchy unintended shortcuts, and I feel like the interactions with falling on some hills, or turning erratically over them, are unintentional too - since how the kart reacts tends to feel unpredictable. In some multiplayer modes, the framerate would go haywire too. I recall D.K.’s Jungle Parkway being the worst offender. I think it was 3 or 4 players, it would run insanely fast. Actually, it was kind of fun, but I doubt my eyes could handle it these days! I don’t really think this adversely affects the game, except for that Block Fort level, where falling off a higher level, when you should have driven off the edge can get you killed. Also, i have to admit to playing the slow butchered PAL version growing up as well.

So where does it sit? Is it the worst Mario Kart… just a meagre 80%? Hmm.

It’s certainly not without fault. Some tracks are - let’s be honest, shit. Toad’s Turnpike and Rainbow Road, they’re just awful. The only case for their inclusion is for the sake of variety I think. Still, there are some awesome ones in there - Mario Raceway is my favourite (when i’m not breaking controllers, i swear). That one really plays well to the skidding mechanics. It says a lot that it’s generally fun and interesting to get around all the courses because of those too, even those that you’d think would be wide and boring on first glance.

Like I said, i may review Diddy Kong Racing another time but, spoiler alert - Mario Kart 64 is the better game. Yes, yes, DKR does some things better, I know. Be patient. But Mario Kart 64 is the better game and you want to know why? Well, DKR came, and then it went. Enjoyed the game myself, took it to my mates as the next step for our karting escapades and… it just fell flat, and we went back to MK64 for many years after.

But it’s not that MK64 is better in multiplayer, and DKR is better in single player, which you’ll usually hear - hell, it sounds like I just said that myself didn’t I? We wanted to play multiplayer MK64 again, but we didn’t want to play multiplayer DKR again. But for anyone who has actually beaten the final Wizpig in DKR, you should damn well know, the absolute last thing you ever want to do after beating that, is play it again either. It’s simply, that MK64 plays better and is more fun, period. I played that shit for hundreds of hours all over again by myself and with my mates.

So if that’s the case, can it really be a disappointment for fans of Super Mario Kart? I’m a fan of Super Mario Kart, so I think i’m well placed to tell you. No, it was not disappointing… in the end. You kind of know when you realise you played it for about 4 years straight - not just the 4 months CVG had before their review. It is not, however Super Mario Kart 2 - that comes next! In what is definitely a recurring theme here, Mario Kart 64 is really just… different. It’s still bloody good… even if it may actually be the worst game in the series. I haven't decided yet, but don’t worry, my ordered list will come in due time!